I buried my dad last month.
I knew it was coming. I'm not stupid. I've known it was coming for ages. Nobody who's in that bad a way can last very long.
I still hoped, though.
I kind of wanted another year. I know that's selfish, I do--my dad was suffering so much, you know? He couldn't even talk anymore. He couldn't be himself.
But I wasn't ready to say goodbye.
I just wanted more time to hug him and love on him. I never go to do that enough. We were always running around, trying to make sure the next thing got done and everything was in the right place, and his awake times kept getting shorter and shorter...
Is it weird if I wanted to
So if your life is so very nice, why would I never trade my nasty one for yours?
I want to keep my life,
because I would rather be hopeless,
be brought to my knees,
than go back to mundanity.
It is not for me.
Go live in your happy little house in suburbia,
and never learn who you could have been.
Never long for the way you should be
because you do not know how much better pain can be than contentment.
That’s fine, I suppose.
But you really don’t know what you’re missing.
10 Signs Your Life Has Entered the Crapper by MyBrokenRoseUnfold, literature
Literature
10 Signs Your Life Has Entered the Crapper
10 Signs Your Life Has Entered the Crapper
1. You are changing your father's diapers. He is not yet 60.
2. Your mother is your best friend not because she is awesome (she is) and you get along so well (we don't), but because she is the only person you really see even on a semi-regular basis.
3. Your dog is your personal trainer and your therapist--your only therapist. You can't afford a real one, even though you need one desperately.
4. Your main source of income will dwindle to naught in the next couple of weeks, and will stay that way for three months.
5. Finding unmolded goat cheese in the snack drawer is the highlight of your day.
6. The